invisible

this actually isn’t bothering me too much anymore,  but, wow. 

people can be amazingly clueless.  i was in a meeting this morning with a few of my peers where the resulting discussions were getting excited and stressed on exactly how we were going to approach this new task.  having some valuable knowledge, i attempted to contribute some supportive arguments.  on all three occasions i tried to speak, i was completely disregarded, like they never heard my voice.  i realize that i am fairly soft-spoken but i am still with decibel range.  and to add to the insult, the physical backs of the speaker(s) was all i got while sitting at this large round oval table, bodies twisted sideways and leaning on the table so that i was looking at the backs of heads and frumpy clothing.  why i attend these meetings, where i am barely visible and i just end up listening to the 12 different ways to say the same thing, everyone talking, no one listening, is beyond me. 

so much for the motivational speaker that was brought in for our more ‘human’ development a few weeks ago. (IT-er’s often function like a bunch of unfeeling machines.)  where it was stressed upon the importance of taking the time to listen to what is being said while offering compassion and acknowledgement.  you know, those basic human interactions that are supposed to make one’s day. 

i am in the wrong profession.

ah well.  another day, another dollar.  and another suckler of the corporate nipple.

reality check

i’ve been seeing the true colors of friends lately.  some of it has hurt, but most of it has been reassuring, heartwarming and beyond pleasing.  i have this chameleon like ability to get along with everyone, while trying not to compromise myself.  i do pretty ok at it.  but a special shout of gratitude goes to my true blue friends [i still have to figure out why it is called true ‘blue’ friends; it should be yellow for sunshine and happiness] who always have a shoulder for me to lean on, and an ear (or 2) to listen with.  they are total sock rockers.

this breaks my heart…

i found this on my sisters newsfeed today.  so sad, i am crying as i write this.  if you cannot see yourself taking care of a pet beyond their incredibly cute baby days (the older years become still cute but loyal companion with unconditional love) please do not get a pet…

Dear Mom and Dad,

I died today. You got tired of me and took me to the shelter. T…hey were overcrowded and I drew an unlucky number. I am in a black plastic bag in a landfill now. Some other puppy will get the barely used leash you left. My collar was dirty and too small, but the lady took it off before she sent me to the Rainbow Bridge .

Would I still be at home if I hadn’t chewed your shoe? I didn’t know what it was, but it was leather, and it was on the floor. I was just playing. You forgot to get puppy toys.

Would I still be at home if I had been housebroken? Rubbing my nose in what I did only made me ashamed that I had to go at all. There are books and obedience teachers that would have taught you how to teach me to go to the door.

Would I still be at home if I hadn’t brought fleas into the house? Without anti-flea medicine, I couldn’t get them off of me after you left me in the yard for days.

Would I still be at home if I hadn’t barked? I was only saying, “I’m scared, I’m lonely, I’m here, I’m here! I want to be your best friend.”

Would I still be at home if I had made you happy? Hitting me didn’t make me learn how.

Would I still be at home if you had taken the time to care for me and to teach manners to me? You didn’t pay attention to me after the first week or so, but I spent all my time waiting for you to love me.

I died today.
Love, Your Puppy
By: Selina Pham..